A Good Boy

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a good boy.

A boy with all the right virtues — kind, non-violent, moral.

I was fortunate. Born into a Brahmin family, I studied in a school that reinforced those values.

Speak softly

Be humble

Respect your elders

Turn the other cheek

Every action I took was filtered through one question:
“Is this what a good boy would do?”

What do you do when someone mocks you?
Ignore them, my mother said.

What if someone picks a fight?
Good boys don’t fight, she reminded me.

And so I grew up chasing this ideal —
To be a good son.
A good husband.
A good father.

But no one ever told me this:

Being good without being strong…is not goodness.It’s powerlessness.

I remember one evening. I saw a man getting beaten up by two others on the road.

People stood and watched. So did I.

My heart pounded like a drum. I wanted to step in… to protect that man.
But my legs didn’t move.

I told myself, “It’s not your fight. Be the bigger person.”

But deep down, I knew the truth:
I didn’t act — not out of principle…
But because I couldn’t.

Back then, my friends invited me to parties, clubs, and night-outs.
But I would think, “Good boys don’t go to nightclubs.”
So I stayed home, feeling righteous.

Today, I ask myself:
Was that really morality?
Or was I just broke… insecure… lacking confidence?

Because let’s be honest:

Virtue isn’t about avoiding temptation when you don’t even have access to it.
True virtue is when you have options — power, freedom, money — and still choose restraint.

This kind of hypocrisy isn’t unique to me.
It’s woven into the fabric of everyday Indian life.

Take the office-going father — the salaried, middle-class man who prides himself on being a peaceful provider.

When someone catcalls his daughter,
He doesn’t confront the offender.
He doesn’t raise his voice.

Instead, he tells her:

“Dress modestly.”
“Don’t go out alone.”

He says he’s protecting her.
But really… he’s protecting himself from conflict, from judgment.

He hides fear behind culture.
Helplessness behind values.
And calls it morality.

There’s a difference between being harmless… and being good.

A harmless person avoids conflict, not out of wisdom, but out of fear.
They don’t cause harm, but they also can’t stop it.

A good person, on the other hand… is dangerous.
Strong. Capable.
But they choose restraint. They choose to protect.

That choice…
That voluntary control…
That’s what real morality looks like.

Maybe you’ve stood by silently too — like I did.
You’re not alone.

But maybe, starting today, we stop just being harmless…
And start becoming good.

Train your body.
Sharpen your mind.
Find your voice.

Stand for the things.

Because only when you are strong enough to fight — and still choose peace — does your kindness carry any meaning.

Only when you can afford the party,
But still choose not to go —
That’s when your restraint becomes character.

If I were strong back then… if I had the power to stand tall…

I wouldn’t throw punches in that street fight.
I wouldn’t need to.

I would have just stood between them… and stopped it.
Calm. Firm. Unshaken.

Not as a scared boy hiding behind borrowed virtue…
But as a good man, dangerous, yet in control.

The world doesn’t need more harmless people.
It needs people of strength, courage, and conscience.
It needs good people.

As for me…
I no longer want to be a “good boy.”

I want to be near the truth.

And the truth is this:
A good man is not one who cannot fight — But one who chooses not to.
A man who can buy every comfort — and still chooses simplicity.
A man who can crush — and still chooses compassion.

Thank you for reading.