Himanshu Mishra

Category: Success

  • Revenge

    Revenge

    When I grow up I’m going to KILL you.
    Good morning fellow Toastmasters and dear guests.
    That was the promise I gave my childhood bully after a fight in school. In reply, he picked up my glasses and it snapped into two. He laughed and walked away, leaving me seething with rage.
    When I reached home, even my parents punished me harshly for breaking those new expensive glasses.
    I took it all in silence. I didn’t explain myself or ask for help. Because I was determined. I wanted the satisfaction of getting revenge on the bully myself.
    That day I promised myself I would never let it go.
    The time I spent near him was filled with absolute, agonising rage. Why? Because he was everything I wasn’t. I was overweight; he was strong. He was aggressive, but l was not. I was below average. He had top grades. I was invisible. He was popular.

    That anger—my thirst for revenge—became my fuel.

    I channelled it into improving myself. I started studying consistently and doing homework and assignments on time. My grades improved. I started playing outdoor games. Made new friends. I started to see my potential. But by the time I was strong enough to confront him, he had gone to another school.
    Fast forward. I completed my studies, got a job, started earning, and pursuing different hobbies. Life was good.
    But recently, during the Diwali holidays, I had gone to my hometown. I saw the bully. There he was, just across the street. He looked different—out of shape, depressed. He looked like he had lost interest in life. But it was him. 100%.
    The old venomous thoughts were rising. I rolled up my sleeves and clenched my fists. I started following him, not even sure what I was going to do to him if I caught up.
    Just as I was about to overtake him, I heard a child’s voice shouting, “Papa! Papa!” A little girl ran past me, followed by her mother.  His face lit up as he dropped everything and swept his daughter into his arms.
    I wanted to stay angry. I wanted to hold on to that old promise.
    But they looked so happy. At that moment, I realized three things:
    • First, I realized I am a family man myself. Hurting him would mean hurting his family—and that’s not what I want to do.
    • Second, I saw the joy in his daughter’s eyes. Children and wives deserve to see their fathers and husbands as heroes. Who was I to shatter that image?
    • The third was that people change. He wasn’t the same boy and I certainly wasn’t going to stay the same venomous, rage-driven, unhealthy boy.
    My thoughts were interrupted by them laughing. He glanced at me and from his lack of reaction he certainly didn’t recognise me. I waved at his daughter and walked away.
    The old demons were buried for good and I was going to get on with the life I was blessed to live.
    So, have you ever carried a grudge so heavy that it held you back from moving forward? Maybe it’s time to let it go—not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve freedom. You deserve peace. You deserve to grow.
    Forgive your parents. Forgive your exes. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the scars of the past, but it sets us free to build a better future. It frees us to focus on what truly matters.
    When we forgive, we rise above bitterness. And we discover that true success isn’t about revenge—it’s about choosing growth over revenge.
    Thank you.
    (The author delivered this speech as his Level 3, project 2 in Toastmasters)
  • Godfather

    Godfather

    I delivered this speech on ‘Godfather’ as my Level 2, project 2 at Toastmasters. The purpose of this project was to understand your leadership style.
    Growing up, we all faced the question: “What will you become when you grow up?”
    Many of us answered with dreams of becoming IAS, IPS, doctors, pilots, singers etc. I’m not going to ask whether you achieved those childhood dreams or not. You can do your introspection.
    When I was 13-14 years old, my mentor asked me the same question. I said, “I want to be someone powerful, and wealthy, who helps everyone, but stays in the background.”
    He quipped, “So, you want to be the Godfather?”

    What does Godfather mean?

    At that time, I didn’t know what he meant. I had only seen “Godfather” written on a shop whose signboard “Aapka dhyan kidhar hain, thandi beer ki dukan idhar hain.”
    Later, I learned he was referring to Don Vito Corleone from the novel The Godfather.
    In college, I read the book. Don Vito Corleone was the head of his Mafia Family, known as the Godfather. He is wise, and strategic, and commands great respect and fear.
    I don’t resonate much with him because we are not living in a Mafia world. If I have to adopt a character from the novel. It would be:
    Michael Corleone. He was the youngest son of the family. Initially, He was distanced from the family business and served in the army in Second World War II. After the attempt on his father’s life, Michael Corleone steps into the family business. He killed the other mafia families to become a better leader than his father. This is a common theme of mythology. Ram is not only Maryada-Purushotam Ram. He killed Mighty Ravan.
    Even today, I don’t know the meaning of Godfather.
    My idea of what I wanted to become is clear. Be competent and stay away from the limelight.
    Why Stay in the Background?
    1. To make a building magnificent, some bricks have to lie down in the foundation silently without any recognition. I have no problem being that brick.
    2. From my understanding of human society it doesn’t respect you, it respects your status. The same society that worships you when you are successful will abandon you when you are nothing.
    3. Seeking status is an endless game. There will be always the latest fashion trends and cooler gadgets. There will be always people more beautiful, more smarter than you. Why play a game you can’t win? It attracts unnecessary attention, jealousy, risk, etc.
    4. Being popular consumes a lot of time and energy. There are a few things you can not delegate. For example, loving your wife, spending time with your kids, and pursuing a hobby. No one can do these things on your behalf.
    I am a little reluctant about pursuing power because Power is a zero-sum game. You have to replace number one to become number one. I do not want to play a zero-sum game. I want to play positive-sum games. Instead of taking the largest pie of the cake, I want to make the cake bigger. So, I break the power into the following types:
    There are different types of power:
    1. Positional Power: The power that comes with your position or chair you are sitting. Be it the CEO of a company or a government official. I respect the person, not the chair.
    2. Financial Power: You need money not because you believe in money. You need money because others believe in it. You can make people do anything for money. To maintain your freedom of thought you need money. Earn money so that you can help the people you care for and have the freedom to wait and dictate your terms.
    3. Personal Power: This is the best form of power because no one can take it from you. Your knowledge, attitude, mindset, character, wisdom, confidence, the people you know etc. are examples of personal power
    4. Physical Power: Power that we derive from physical strength. It is not about building a body in a gym. I don’t deny the chance of a street fight. Energy is the ultimate flex. If you ask me the success formula, it would be High IQ + High Energy. If you have both, you are going to rule the world.

    I would add one more word to my idea of Godfather: even-mindness. Practising even-mindness is hard. It means treating profit and loss in the same way. Win and defeat in the same way. King and servant in the same way.

    Fortune is like a flirt; it does not care for those who want it. Money, fame and power come to those who do not care for it. They always come to the Master. The Master is he who can live despite them, whose life does not depend upon the little, foolish things of the world.
    So, If you have felt slept on, ignored, unrecognised by little foolish people. Leave them. Get back to work. Become a Master.
  • My Anti-To-Do List

    My Anti-To-Do List

    An anti-to-do list is the thing that I avoid daily.

    Sometimes, we don’t know what we want in life. But we are clear about what we don’t want or what type of person we don’t want to become.

    Here is my current anti-to-do list:
    1. Never talk bad about anyone behind their back
    2. Do not associate with people you wouldn’t like to spend your life with.
    3. Do not argue.
    4. Do not complain about anything.
    5. Do not use the digital screen one hour before sleeping.
    6. Never skip exercises two days in a row.
    7. Avoid Sugar and deep-fried foods.
    8. Do not sacrifice sleep for entertainment.
    9. No escalator.
    10. (To be updated)
  • The Beginner’s Luck

    The Beginner’s Luck

    In the book Alchemist by Paul Colhelo, he has written about beginner’s luck. When we do something for the first time, we are most likely to win. It is nature’s way to realise you your destiny by giving you a taste of success. When someone gambles for the first time and wins, he is more likely to be a gambler.

    My Moments of the Beginner’s Luck

    It has happened to me also.

    1. When I started my first website (engineeringcivil.in), it was a hit. It was my fault that I didn’t renew the domain. After that, I bought and built three sites: civilgraduate.com, civilwale.com and himanshumishra.org. Now, I am struggling to put in the required work to make these a success. But I take it as a signal and still believe that I would do something great using the Internet.
    2. I had never thought about doing a government job. However, I cleared the first exam I took and appeared for the interview. I could not make it to the final list. After that, I started preparing for government jobs. It took me three years of struggle to get a job. Perhaps the first win was a signal for me to go for a government job.
    3. Now, this is happening in my Toastmasters journey. I won certificates for best speaker in my first two speeches. But now I am struggling. I am not satisfied. In my third and fourth speeches, I was fully aware that I did not do well. The first wins could have been the mercy of the EC team but I am taking it as a signal that I am destined to be a speaker.

    Even though beginner’s luck is not on my side, I would struggle with dignity and win. I have overcome my fear of embarrassment. This is a mark of success.

    Some people do not believe in philosophy. I have two other methods:

    1. Rule breaking: There was a boy in my school. He had an introvert-like personality who sat in a corner. He didn’t interact much with others. But he used to make cartoons. He would make funny cartoons of teachers. For him, the cartoon was his passion for which he could break rules. Find something for which you could break rules, which fuels you. That’s your passion. For example, my younger brother was not good at studies. But now he runs a coffee shop. The money is something that gets him going.
    2. The Gap Method: Assess your current situation and the ideal self. There will be certain gaps between these two personalities. Try to complete the gap by putting in the required work.